Why fear matters

Fear scares the shit out of me.

I’ve spent nights sweating, days frozen. I’ve woken up, unable to see, unable to be, not knowing what I wanted to do, and afraid to find out. I’ve popped on the TV, slopped on the couch, being stuck in second gear for days, weeks, and months on end, all because I was more scared to find out I wasn’t what I wanted to be, than to simply get out of my bed, get out of my head, and become that thing itself.

Fear is a dark and menacing thing. It lurks in the shadows of our minds. Always hard to find, always waiting in the wings, never quite gone, never quite there.

But I’ll take it over security, any day.

Security is worse.

Fear accompanies all great things. It’s there in progress, change, and growth. It’s there when you shed your own skin. It’s there when you let yourself to become more.

You don’t own fear by forgetting it. Security is not fear vanquished. Security is settling for less.

Let fear be your guide. You fear when you care. You fear when you want. Really want.

Fear doesn’t tell you what to run from. Fear tells you what to run to. There is no fear that accompanies the unimportant. It is the most clear and vital indicator that something actually matters.

When you create, you have a choice. You can live on borrowed lives using the images and voices of others. Or you can live your own life, speak in your own way, and know your own path.

And it may be true that when you follow, you’ll never have to take the hits, many will appreciate you, no one will question you, and you’ll keep fear at bay. But you set your sights on a path forged by others, dedicated to a vision that wasn’t yours, placing your own dreams ever an arm’s length away.

When you live in the first person, you’ll experience fear and hesitation and that feeling in the pit of your stomach that you will not measure up. But for that, you will rip through the barriers that separate you from your future self. The one who exists on the other side, who has done what you wanted, knows what you wanted, and experienced what you wanted.

You will recover your dreams, you will recover yourself, you’ll take the hits, but as Sinatra said, you’ll know you did it your way.

So if you look at your own work, and you’re afraid to show it. If you look at your own self, and you’ve kept it walled off, don’t hold it back, don’t keep it safe. Don’t let it wither without seeing the light of day. Let it into the wild, and see what takes place. Your life is waiting.

Because the question is not whether fear is too high a price to pay. The question is whether fear is too much to give up.