I never went to art school. Always wished I had, always glad I didn’t. Wish I had, because, what an experience it must be to spend time dedicated to something you love around others who feel the same. Energized, excited, in it. To have time to do nothing but be creative is one of the best feelings in the world. Glad I didn’t, because I wouldn’t be able to give everything else up. Who could? Changing your past would be like amputating part of your soul.
Only in a hazy fog can I imagine the might-haves and maybes. All the uncut perforated lives float an arm’s length away. But that mop of ideas running through my head – all those threads, tangled in a big, messy ball of thoughts – that I can trace with clarity. At least, so I think.
I might be wrong. You never know what adds up to what. When you throw a million different things together into the soup and stir it around, your mind plays tricks on you. But I know they come from somewhere. I have strong suspicions where. And that’s what matters.
Why be you?
Most people have it backwards. The first thing anyone asks when you’re not studying to be an accountant or lawyer or doctor or engineer is what you’re going to do with it. I know every variation. I’ve been a lawyer, a designer, a coder, a photographer, and I graduated with a bachelors in, yes, philosophy. The ultimate what-will-you-do-with-it major.
But that’s not the question. The question is who you’d be without it. How do the things you do change you? And do you let them change you? Appreciating that change is the stuff of character and strength. The world may want to inject you into a die cast mold, but it rewards those who break it. Because whatever you’re going to do – photography being no exception – if you want to do it well, you’d better have an opinion.
The last thing the world needs is another shot full of shadow and space on Instagram. Or a food shot on Facebook. Or, yes, even a photo essay of all your travels. But it’s always waiting for your opinion. It just doesn’t know it. And if you can make that belief shine through Instagram or food shots or travel pictures, then you can know you’re onto something.
But be ready. Because once you are, you can also know most people won’t get it. At first. Most people aren’t interested in your opinions. They’re interested in their own. But though people resist change, they’re also looking for something new. Go figure. And if you stay the course, say what you need to say, and you do it with enough fortitude, it just might stick. Of course, it might not. But isn’t a chance for something better than a sure shot at nothing? Or, worse, skulking in the shadows, always wondering and questioning?
The beauty of chance
Where does it all come from? Not from shutter speed and aperture. Not from comparing chromatic aberration and high ISO. Also, not from surfing the wave of what’s cool and what’s not, and not from staring at a computer screen.
The reality is there is no best way. In fact, there is no right subject. There is no right composition. And in the thousands of shots you can take in a day or a week, if you can’t let go of the rules and free yourself to try to shoot something no one ever shot in a way no one ever thought – even just a fraction of the time – you’re living a lie. Because you’re building walls from gauzy rules to make a prison that holds no one but you. In expression, there are no mandates so godly and absolute you can’t risk of stepping outside of them once in awhile.
Let discovery happen. Let accidents happen. Forget the mythology of the creator. Most of us stop ourselves from finding the accidents. You don’t have to be brilliant. You don’t have to see the future 10 steps ahead. Nothing is preordained. Penicillin was an accident. Post-It Notes were an accident. And Facebook was for fun. The discovery happened when they let themselves try. The brilliance came when they used the discovery.
Enjoy you
Having an opinion is easy. In theory. All you need do is to live. Try life on, look in the mirror, and see if it fits. If it doesn’t, go at it again. But that’s the rub, right there. Most people won’t go at it again. You invest so much, you try so hard. Letting go is hard to do. So, instead, we try and try to rework and rework to stuff that square peg into the round hole. But life precludes life. Every chance to try to be someone else is lost time trying to be yourself. Trust that feeling in your gut telling you when something isn’t right.
After all, you already have what you need. Everything you’ve done, every place you’ve been – these things are your opinion. Every choice you embraced, every option you rejected – these are the muscle memory of the character. A lot of us sweep it under the rug. Don’t. Keep them in plain sight.
And finally, remember this. You’ll always only have a small piece of the puzzle. The more you go on, the more clear that becomes. What’s worse is you’ll find everyone puts it together in a different way. That’s a hard one to swallow, because that means you pretty much have to figure it out on your own. But it’s a great, great thing, too. Because it means you’re never doing it wrong. You’re never missing the mark. It’s never too late. It also means you have to respect the way everyone else is doing it, if you’re going to respect yourself. Because only if you believe everyone needs to figure it out their own way, can you give yourself the freedom to do the same.
And that’s really it in a nutshell. Give yourself freedom. That’s how you find yourself. Go. Try. Go. Try. When it’s all working, enjoy it, but never worship it. When it’s all falling apart, have courage. It will come together. And the rest of the time, just give yourself the space to breathe.
Rob Cordova says
Love it. I remember sitting in Australia watching your wedding videos and thinking, “God this is inspiring.” Within a few short years, I moved to New York – met you – and worked with you a few times. It wasn’t your camera that made you great, it wasn’t your editing equipment and filters. It was the music either. It was your mind, your creativity, your freedom, and your gut that knew how to put it all together in a way that was unique. Don’t ever stop doing what your doing or thinking how you’re thinking.